Barb Gonzalez
i start my day like i start almost every other day before that, dating back to my pre-philadelphia days. you guessed it, i am rubbing one out before i even check the time! my body is a temple that is overworked and underappreciated, but that doesn’t mean it should be robbed of the little joys, or “the little death,” as the french call it. i am a firm believer that an orgasm can fix just about anything, and with that being said, i think that fixing anything yourself is much more satisfying anyways. how do you show up for yourself?
i take my time getting out of bed, it’s my day off. i love my job, i’m lucky to love what i do, but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t love my days off. that’s big barb time, where the answer is never no and the lattes are no longer free because my job is closed. i will say, the one downside to being a barista is that no one will ever make a hot oat latte that i don’t have a complaint about, so i just rock with a large Dunkin Donuts Green Tea Refresher. i wish i could say you can’t mess those up, but, i’m trying to unlock my boosted status on the dunkin app so that i can get double points, to earn double the refreshers, and you have to go 12 times in a calendar month. as you can assume, i am pretty much pissing strawberry dragonfruit green tea at this point.
i pick up m, and i bring him to laurel hill cemetery with me, he’s never been, but he used to work over by there. i can’t imagine being that close to the cemetery and not going everyday. i could walk around for hours, in silence, in revelation. other than being one of the most peaceful places in the city, it is one of the most beautiful. it’s quiet. i love living in a city, i love all of my friends, i love my favorite places: home. but sometimes, it feels a little claustrophobic knowing 5 people live in the 2 bedroom apartment above me, and two people and a dog live in the two bedroom apartment above them. directly to my right, a man spends 8 hours a day using various power tools to renovate his home. 3 old people on my block use traffic cones to block off their parking spot. everything is a little… congested. some days, i miss my driveway, but the ability to wake up everyday, flick my bean, and leave my apartment being entirely unapologetically and wholeheartedly myself, with no guilt or shame, is worth everything to me. i think sometimes i just need to be reminded of that while i'm standing on some graves and he’s walking on the path and i’m just shooting the shit and it’s 6:00 somewhere and this dead couple has a beautiful memorial of their love of tequila and each other: i wonder if someone will ever love me that way, one day.
i’m at the meadow, some west philly house venue with a cat and a backyard. there are like 8 dudes from spain, all supposedly best buds, in these two bands. they’re stoked to be playing to like, a dozen people, i’m pretty sure maybe a third of us have any idea what they’re saying. they couldn’t care less. they’re pretty, young spanish boys with a bunch of budweiser. i wouldn’t really care about much else other than my friends and my beer, either. i buy a tshirt, i learn that $20 is like just under 18 euro. paypal charges a dollar for international currency exchange. everyone’s gotta eat, huh?
Barb is a charming little devil who daylights as a vegan barista and is probably your worst nightmare. You can find them published in places on the internet, where they are very vulnerable about their qualms with the universe, and trying to maintain an online presence on instagram @softhangover.
