Zac
715am - Coffee, breakfast, watch a couple YouTube videos on antitrust laws and LLM. They say screen time isn't healthy early in the morning and late at night, but it keeps me sane. Used to read a lot more, especially in quiet moments like this. Typical millennial story.
I write in a "1 line a day" journal every morning. Today I find it hard to decide what sentence or two to write. I'm writing this much longer journal entry first. Strategic procrastination. Speeches, essays, novellas - that's my comfort zone. I find very short-form writing difficult. What can I say to encompass the personal, much less the global condition, in a handful of words? Something in between last sentence's cliche melodrama and writing "I'm tired" for the 15th time. I'll steal a quote instead. "The world is not beautiful, and therefore it is." I think I've used that quote before. Oh well.
1207pm - Lunch break. I eat a protein bar as I walk around center city. I spend a lot of time sitting in front of my computer for work. My ADHD struggles with this, and I have to get up and walk around. I have mixed feelings ethically about working for a bank, but it's my first job in this field and my team is very supportive; I'm learning a lot, and I don't have to be here forever. A biker almost gets taken out by a car running a red light. He doesn't even notice. I head into Wawa for a coffee.
This isn't my first career; after grad school I spent 3 years teaching 9th and 10th grade English at Reading High School. Leaving was the hardest decision I've made in my entire life. I miss my kids deeply; many of them still reach out to me over email or LinkedIn, and I love catching up. I miss being in the classroom, doing fun lessons on intertextual connections across modern media, or rhetorical appeals in advertising. What I don't miss is the 90 hour work weeks, the toxic and abusive culture of admin vs staff, standardized testing as a divine mandate of the highest priority, silencing students struggling with serious issues along with the teachers sticking up for them. I don't regret leaving. I know too many good teachers who turned into assholes or cynics under the weight of it. But the heartache sits in my chest as I stare up at the Comcast tower, and I don't know if it will ever go away.
505pm - I cross Market and catch the 17, heading to North Bowl to meet a lady friend. I like her a lot, but she wants to keep it casual, and I'm rolling with that. I've burned too many bridges in the past pushing for greater commitment. I've spent a lot of time working on myself the past couple years, and I'm content to enjoy the present.
It's Taco Tuesday; we order drinks, eat each other's food, and personify the poor, beat up bowling balls at the lane. We're both terrible bowlers. She wipes the floor with me at pool. When we leave we miss the rain.
1139pm - I'm sleepy. I should clean. But I'm comfortable and naked and don't want to get up. Lights out. Goodnight Philadelphia.
Zac is still confused how an English and Psych nerd became a programmer, but as a means for a good life and affording city rent, he's got little to complain about. He enjoys spending time with friends, organizing events, traveling, writing, working out, and certainly other things that don't come to mind right now. You can find him on Instagram @zluchette. He'd love to meet new people and get involved in community events, feel free to reach out!
